Third trimester

I know I've been in it for a little already. But hello to third trimester nausea and fatigue, because I didn't have enough of it during the first trimester or a good chunk of the second. I can't wait to have my body back to myself and hopefully feel somewhat normal. Mostly I hope to be able to sleep on my belly again. 

Big E finally got an offer for a job interview. The problem is that it's 5 hours away and the neighborhood isn't the greatest. He's debating back and forth on whether he wants to do the interview or not. I just wish he'd gotten a better offer somewhere. That would have been nice. 

Jalee

Hospital bag

I finally packed my hospital bag. I might make a video for it and post it. 

Today may have been a better day. Big E applied for the game and fish commission in the state and got a message back that he met the minimum requirements. Though I'm not getting too excited because that's not an interview. It'd just be nice if we can finally have some good news. Especially since he said this is what he's wanted to do since he was little. 

I guess we'll find out soon enough. 

We still need to set up our room for Squirt to come. 10 more weeks. It seems like forever but then it feels like it's right around the corner. 

I can't wait to meet him. 

Jalee

And once again

The nap I took earlier was great because Little E was napping also. But now that I'm feeling sick and in the room I guess it's time to pester mommy.

But I guess I'll be happy. I went to target today and took advantage of the sale on a medela breast pump and getting a $50 gift card with the purchase too. Then I bought a baby bath seat. I plan on washing Squirt in the tub so I needed something. Big E's mother had been grabbing and cleaning stuff from the aunt's house (which is another story with all the black mold) for us to use, but because of the mold I'm a little put off of using it. The bath seat maybe, but it's like a slide or wedge. However you can picture that. All I know is I had one with Little E and he kept sliding down and off it so it was a pain to use. 

After using a bunch of things because they were cheap and given to me or because they were cheap and we needed it and I wasn't given a shower like others we had to buy it (not that I care, it is our children so we provide for them and don't wait for others to). Anyway, I used that stuff and came to realize how much I hated the item. It was an item to make thugs more convenient, but it was really just making the job harder. So this time around I'm very specific on what I want for Squirt. Most the things we do have left over and they helped. The smaller things we didn't keep and I know exactly what I want this time around. Even if it costs more. 

Jalee

Tired day today

I'm always tired these days. Today we went to the post office to check our box and so Big E can mail off some resumes. There's one job he's really hoping for because it'd give him the opportunity to go to school as well.

I hope he gets it. He needs a break in life. 

Then we went to one store to pretty much walk around. Then walmart to buy stuff to make chili tomorrow. I'm trying a new recipe and I hope it's good. 

Big E is going hunting in the morning. It'd be great if he got a deer then we'd have some meat. 

Squirt is doing good. Really active. I think he's breech right now so I might try some at home techniques to flip him. I just think he's breech because any movement I feel is really low. I really don't want a csection. 

Little E busted his lip today playing with Big E. My poor baby. He's also come to our room the past two nights in the middle of the night. If this keeps up I'm going to have to start going back to his room with him because he takes up the entire bed and it's so uncomfortable lately. 

Tomorrow we need to clean up our room and rearrange stuff. So we can dig out the pack n play, clean it, and set it up. Then hopefully we have room somewhere for the glider. 

We really need to move by the end of summer. There's no room here for a crib so I don't know what we're going to do with Squirt after. I guess he'd have to stay in his pack n play. 

Jalee

Frustration

Some days I'm just so frustrated for no reason. Today is one of those days. I can't wait until my hormones are back to normal. 

Jalee

Only one

I think I'm the only one in both families that never had a baby shower. Gah!

Oh well. 

I'm way exhausted today. Time for bed. 

Jalee

I'm failing

Looks like I'm failing at all 365 days, but it's close.

Today the family has lost a wonderful lady. It was a blessing in that she didn't suffer very long from the cancer, but not so much as she was just diagnosed last week. It was sudden and a surprise to everyone. 

On another note Big E and I were talking while driving around looking for nursing bras for me. His brother has been kind of favored and spoiled and you can tell. Big E said something to me today I thought but never said as I figured it wasn't my place. Hearing it come from him really hit how much he gets hurt from all that and it kind of upset me. In the end it won't change, I just wish he sometimes got shown that appreciation. 

The last couple days we've been gathering a couple things left we need to get for Squirt. I got a small crockpot to warm bottles in (much cheaper than a bottle warmer), found a rock n play sleeper on clearance for $37 (which is nice as I don't think the pack n play will fit next to our bed), bought a couple swaddlers at a thrift store, got a couple muslin blankets, receiving blankets, bibs on clearance, socks on clearance, and found some clothes on clearance. I also picked up a couple coming home outfits. 

All I have left to purchase is a breastpump (our insurance doesn't cover one and I have a course to go to for the military 7 weeks after having Squirt). I'm waiting on that for the tax refund and because I want to be able to return it in case breastfeeding doesn't work out. 

I think we're finally done shopping for Squirt besides that. Now just waiting for him. 

And hopefully Big E is able to get a job and we can get a home. I'd love to bring my children to their own place. But so far no luck. I have a feeling he's going to end up working minimum wage and we'll never get anywhere. I just wish life wasn't so hard sometimes. 

Jalee

10 more to go

Due to having Little E at 36 weeks and going into preterm labor with him before that at 28 weeks I have to give myself a weekly progesterone shot. It's not fun and I hate it, but I want Squirt to be okay so I do it. So today I did it and that means there are 10 more shots to do until I'm done. 

I'm exhausted today. We did nothing at drill, but add in pregnancy and you get tired over nothing. I'm so glad I get to go home tomorrow. Or home for now. 

But now I'm going to sleep early. Good night. 

Jalee

What a cruddy day

Today has been raining all day and supposedly the roads are icy. So that meant staying in and working on sewing some things for Squirt. 

I made a car seat cover, but I'm thinking of leaving it as a blanket since we live in the south and Squirt is supposed to be born in the middle of April.  I haven't attached the handle parts yet. 

Then I got to use my serger for the first time and made two swaddle blankets. Plus there's two more that are smaller and I'm thinking of using those as car seat covers. I'll have to try it out and get some ribbon so I can tie it onto the handle. 

Yesterday we found a couple houses for sale nearby and I so want to place an offer but without Big E having a job lined up we can't. It's just frustrating we're finding all these places we like and if he was still in we could buy them, but we can't without him having something. And even if he's offered something we have to hope it's enough to afford a house. 

I just really want to have our own place and decorate the boys room.

One day, just have to be patient. 

Until tomorrow,

Jalee

Early night

Day 6

Today Little E went to bed early because he didn't nap today. I guess that's the trick. So I'm making this quick. 

Today Big E and I had to get things done. I called the doctor's office about medical records, ordered new checks, got the enrollment form for healthcare done for when our current one comes up, did the same with dental, contacted my unit to get things done, and tried calling the VA but I assume they're closed due to the weather so I'll try tomorrow. All that took all morning. 

Big E spent all afternoon applying for every single job he could find and figured he'd have to get offered something. I hope so. 

Little E was good all day, but by the late afternoon I guess he was feeling a little neglected because we had so much going on so he laid and cried at one point. I ended up telling him to come here and he ran to me and cuddled on the chair with me. Poor child. 

Tomorrow we still have a lot to do around town so we're going to get at least some done (the least important we might put off) and then spend some quality time with Little E at a bounce house. He'll have lots of fun with that. 

Until tomorrow,

Jalee

Feeling down today

Day 5

Some days I feel completely bummed about having Squirt. One of the biggest reasons is because we're living with someone and not on our own. There's no nursery to set up and there's definitely not enough room for the basic of baby stuff (heck, there isn't enough room for just our basic stuff). Plus the added stress of money and if Big E will find a job. 

Then I feel almost like no one's really into this baby except me. There's no interest in him, nor am I expecting anyone to buy him anything. Which is fine, we'll buy it all, there isn't much anyway.  

I just wish sometimes there was some interest. 

And I can't help feeling like I have to act a certain way and I can't ever be comfortable. Yesterday I laid down because I was cramping, but I felt like crap because Little E was awake and Big E was watching him by himself. Any time I nap or am trying to relax, even. It's almost more exhausting than the pregnancy. I miss having that privacy when we lived on our own. And I know once Squirt is here I'm going to get very little plus maybe a lot of unsolicited advice. 

Plus, I can't wait for April to have my body back to myself, but I also don't want it to come. It's frustrating how I feel, but there's nothing I can do about it. 

I want Big E to find a job, I want our own home, I want to feel like I have privacy, I want to decorate a nursery, and I want the room to live as a family.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have something a little better to update about. Today I'm just feeling a little down. It doesn't help when I'm looking at houses on zillow or online but know we can't even go look at them because we can't purchase them. That was one of the biggest motivations of Big E getting out of the military. I know it hasn't been long but it's discouraging when you want to be able to do something right now and can't. I guess it's more waiting for us. 

I did cut the fabric to make a car seat cover today. It's a little off so I'm thinking of using the serger instead of the sewing maching. I need to cut the fabric for the swaddle blankets, but there isn't much room to do it and I lost my scissors so I need to figure something out. I might cut a cardboard box to try to get it as square as possible. 

Until tomorrow,

Jalee

Shopping and shots

Day 4

Another boring day. Ran around town with the in-laws to some stores. That's about it because I came home and was cramping some so I laid down and took a nap for a while. 

I did have to give myself my progesterone shot today. I'm always worried I'm not giving it right, but I hope I am doing it right. Big E could give it but he's so scared of needles that he makes me more nervous. So I just do it myself. 

11 more shots left before I'm done. I can't wait. Then squirt should be on his way. 

Until tomorrow,

Jalee

Another trying day

Day 3

Today has been a stressful day with potty training Little E. He decided that today he didn't want to go on the toilet at all, so that resulted in a lot of accidents. I'm almost tempted to buy the pull-ups that get cold when toddlers pee in it because I'm almost tired of cleaning up after him.

Tomorrow is another day, I guess.

Last night sleeping was okay. I'm at the point in pregnancy that it doesn't matter, I'm uncomfortable either way.

Plus, yesterday I was a little bummed since I realized that I don't take care of my appearance anymore. I've gotten in a rut. I think tonight once the little one is in bed I'm going to tweeze my eyebrows, maybe have Big E find my contacts, and bring all my makeup in. I have some tinted moisturizer and mascara, if that's all I wear. And I need to start wearing getting dressed every day. I need to take better care of myself while I have the time.

I got some projects I want to do for the baby tomorrow after we go to this flea market in town. I'm hoping I can get those done.

Not much excitement today.

Until tomorrow,

Jalee

Just the 2 of Us and Potty Training

Day 2

As I put Little E to sleep tonight I couldn't help but get a little emotional. For over two years it was just him and me as Big E spent months away for school, months where he spent weeks in the field away from home, and forever away for his deployment. Nothing he could help. When Big E came home in July Little E has pretty much slept in bed with us since.

Today that's changing.

Since my brother-in-law is returning home and not visiting anymore the extra room is free, so we set up the bed for Little E today. Washed the sheets, put the bed rail on, and made the bed. So as I laid down with him as he fell asleep so he wouldn't feel alone I realized I had to get out of the bed once he fell asleep.

We need to do this, if for my sanity and comfort because I usually get about two inches of bed to sleep on. Big E has been wanting some time to ourselves, and Little E needs to start getting a little more independent I guess. It just made me sad because it was just him and I for almost two years and now it's all changing. My little baby isn't my little baby anymore, he's turning into a little boy.

Though I'm sure he'll be happy to see me when I go in there tomorrow.

Also, today we began full force trying to potty train Little E. Set up in the bathroom in a basket are baggies with M&Ms and a coloring page for when he poops. He also gets a sticker if he does either poop and/or pee.

This morning went well, we were both excited. Afternoon, not so much. He didn't want to sit on the toilet anymore and would scream and cry every time we put him on. In the end, after about a minute, we'd let him off just because we want it to be a good experience and not a bad.

I'm not sure if that means Little E isn't fully ready or if he is. It'd be nice to potty train him before Squirt gets here, though.

All he did in the afternoon was cry about wanting a sticker, but he wouldn't go potty. It was a little frustrating to say the least.

I guess tomorrow will be another day of trying. He may take a couple months, but I hope eventually he'll get it.

Right now I think I'm going to go brush my teeth and go lay down. Maybe find a movie on TV.

Until tomorrow,

Jalee

A New Year to Write

Watching Facebook the past couple days there was a picture going around how the new year is the start of a new 365 page book. With the beginning of 2014 and a new beginning I have decided to try to start a blog depicting daily events in my life; even if those events aren't very exciting.

With this new year we face some challenges. My husband (E) recently returning from war in 2013 and leaving the military life behind him in 2014. My son (Little E) being the handful 2 year old that he is. And the unexpected but welcomed new addition (Squirt) on the way this year in April. We're excited but a little apprehensive to the new beginning we're facing.

In 2014 we are looking forward to new things:

o E finding a job that he enjoys to help support us
o Little E maybe beginning preschool
o Giving birth to our second son, Squirt in April
o Hopefully being able to afford a home for us and move from E's parent's house (though I'm very thankful they opened their home to us while we get on our feet)
o Beginning a new job myself after the birth of Squirt
o Getting back in shape postpartum (I miss my runs with Little E)
o E maybe beginning his college degree
o Finding the good in every day, even if there are struggles.

I'm looking forward to what this year has in store for us and what things we will go through.

Until tomorrow,

Jalee