I hate writing these posts

I hate writing these types of posts because I don't like to whine. Especially because everything happens due to choices you make.


But.


I'm so stressed out over money. I just went over our budget and after what my husband and I bring home after taxes we'll only have about $60 left. That's after all our bills and things like food and gas.


This month is even worse. I did our budget and because of things popping up (like the A/C, we cancelled the plumber) we're going to be $600 short. So that means groceries and something else are going on the credit card. Along with Big E's doctor bills, Squirt's doctor bills, etc. I can't take the stress of knowing we're building up so much debt.


And it's not like we have much to pay a month. It's just that together we bring home $2200/month.


We have no car payments. No student loans to pay. Nothing. Well, now we have credit card debt. Yet we still live paycheck to paycheck.


And I'd love to get off of WIC. I hate it. Especially because we have checks here and where I food shop there's only 1 person that can check you out (I guess store policy) so it's not only embarrassing but it takes forever so people behind you get annoyed. I just want to cry every time I have to go use the checks. And of course Big E doesn't deal with it so he just doesn't understand.


I know I need to find a job, I've been looking. But it's not worth it to go part-time unless I can find an overnight job that I can do while Big E is home. But then it may not be worth it because working at night and then having to be up all day with kids isn't going to be fun.


Plus I've applied to probably close to 100 jobs and been called for 3 interviews but haven't got anything. I can't even get a job at stupid lowe's. It's awful.


I can't wait till January when I mobilize so we can have some more money, but it's only a crutch. Once I get home after that I'll be back to searching for a job all over again. I can't deal with this stress. I just want it to be easier to live and to find somewhere to work.

I don't think more can go wrong

All I have to say is I am so glad we decided to pay for a home warranty.

First problem was the toilet that had plumbing that wasn't right. Big E fixed that. 

Then when he went and knocked the wall out and got to the water pipes so he can hook the fridge up he found out the previous owner must have tried to fix the pipes because instead of using copper he used metal pipes. So now there's a slight leak and it's rusting (which explains the very brief brown water when you first turn on the boys' tub). 

Then a couple nights ago (or yesterday morning since it was 4am) I woke up with Squirt because it was his time to eat and I noticed it was hot, so I went to lower the air and saw it was on 70 (which my father-in-law had to do when he was watching the kids while we were out because we normally keep it on about 73. my father-in-law likes it to be an ice box in his house, it drove me nuts when we lived there) so I thought maybe it was just me because I just got out from under blankets. Or maybe the power went off. So I sat in the chair in the living room to feed Squirt and Big E came out saying he was hot too and noticed the air wasn't working. Then tried 10 times to lower it to see if it'd work. Then went outside. I guess the compressor (?) might be bad. The fan is working. So we were stressed over that because that's more money thinking we'd have to pay for someone to come fix it.

Then I remembered we had a warranty, so we looked and saw it covers the air. Except each call someone comes out for is $75 (unless they fix something and it breaks again within 60 days then it's free). But $75 is better than what we would pay out of pocket (granted, if it's something little that we can just fix ourselves for less than $75 then we'll just fix it). So we called to schedule that (it's 24 hours but takes a day to get your request in) and we decided to just schedule a plumber to come out to fix the pipes. Even though Big E can do it, he's not 100% positive he can do it right so he doesn't want to mess it up, so $75 to know it's being done right is worth it. 

The A/C guy is coming out today but I don't know what time he's coming. I was hoping early but it doesn't look like it.

Thankfully we have 2 window units from when we lived in NY, but the one in the living room is only helping slightly since it's a big area. The other one is in Squirt's room since I worried about it being too hot in his room, and it's working great in there. Little E has a ceiling fan in his room (Squirt doesn't until we install it) so that's why I didn't put the a/c in his. But his curtains are dark too so I have them closed to try to help keep it cool too.

So, yea, we're having a great time in this house. It just made me upset last night and hate this place again. We haven't been able to really do much of what we wanted to do because of the random stuff we've had to replace instead now. And we're already over budget, and will be more because we need to get the shelving in the bedroom done so I can finally put clothes away.

Hopefully we're done after that. and we'll be about $1300 over budget after that's all done. And it barely looks like we did anything.

Yay for home ownership. I can't wait till I can just unpack and not have to deal with these problems anymore.

New home, already regretting it.

We finally closed on our home. It's not a bad place, but with 2 kids I'm regretting it. I regret letting Big E talk me into this one and not the one that was bigger with bigger bedrooms, even if it did have a smaller yard and no shop. I really don't care for the shop (which is probably just going to end up being for storage) and the smaller yard wasn't that much smaller.

We already had our first problem yesterday. The toilets here aren't very good at flushing. Like they barely flush. So we bought a new one for us at least and found out the plumbing was done wrong so had to fix that.

I've seen quite a few beetles in here and a spider which means we probably have to spray.

We didn't notice because there was a bed over it when we looked at the house but the guy cut a TV wire into the wall from outside. So that had to be fixed. Thankfully the cable guy unhooked it (since it's not set up for that many lines) and filled the hole up outside, so now we need to fix the hole inside.

I think the dishwasher is leaking. Hurray! Not really.

The kitchen is small. I'm already regretting it. I haven't even unpacked all the kitchen items yet and we're already running out of places to put stuff (and I don't have that much stuff). I have no clue where we're putting food. And walking into the garage to get stuff is going to get old.

There's no closets (besides the bedrooms) which means no storage. Again, why the shop will most likely become storage.

Plus, the cleaning company that came to clean the house did a horrible job. I really think they just ran a vacuum, mopped, went over the sinks and tubs really quick and any other surface you'd immediately see. When I was painting yesterday I saw old cobwebs near the ceilings. The insides of the cabinets were definitely not cleaned. The baseboards weren't cleaned either. Basically they didn't do a good job. I don't know if it's just because I used to clean houses and if we left a place looking like this we'd have to turn back around and clean it again. But, yea, it's kind of annoying.

Our realtor was nice, but she was only okay at her job. This house is the one we found. All the others she found for us only 1 was in our price range, the rest were $10-20k over our max budget, so that was out. I know that's not much money and we can offer less, but our max budget wasn't much to begin with. And she was just awkward. Like the day before closing we came to check the house and she was going through it like it was hers. We put in the contract we wanted the fridge and the first thing she said when she was in here was "at least they left the fridge" and then when I said we asked them to she admitted she didn't go over the contract again. Then she was looking in the fridge and complaining because there wasn't a light in the freezer side. Like a bulb is hard to buy, besides we bought a new fridge, this one is getting put in the garage for overflow.

Plus I was a little bummed. When my friend purchased her home she received a gift basket from her realtor. We didn't get anything. Which I thought was customary so I was looking forward to it in a way and was bummed when we got nothing. But I guess it more stems from me never getting a bridal shower. Or the first baby shower being cancelled and being told we'll do something and nothing never happened. Or this time being asked when we wanted a baby shower (or meet and greet thing) and I said we didn't need one but being told we're doing one and that didn't pan out either.

I guess I'll get used to it and once the stress of moving in is over I'll enjoy it more, but for now I don't. Plus, it's hard to get the house unpacked with a toddler that wants to make a mess and a baby that wants to be held a lot. Plus I have drill this weekend and I really do not want to go at all.

Again, I need a break.

Oh, and Big E getting grumpy because I want him to bring stuff in so I can unpack. I just want to get it done.

I was annoyed the day we moved in too. It was nice a lot of people came to help, but then I there were the family members that just came to see the house and were in the way of those that were helping move our stuff (like they couldn't come another time to see the place after we moved in). Or they were just walking through like they owned it. Or they wouldn't leave and I wanted to get things done, not entertain them.

I'm sorry, but if you're not going to help move things, unpack, or watch kids while I unpack then you don't need to be here on the day we're moving in. You need to wait until after we're done moving in.

Bah, I'm just grumpy. I'm sure part is hormones and the other is just frustration. I can't wait till we're done with moving and get to enjoy things again.

Is it time to move yet?

Tomorrow can't come soon enough. I'm over cleaning up after 5 adults and a toddler while trying to take care of that toddler and a baby. 

It'd be nice to wake up in the morning and there be no dishes in the sink. 

To make a cup of coffee or set up the pot the day before because no one else is using it. 

Be able to have LOCKS on the doors so my 3 year old can't go outside and bring mud in. Or just run outside without me knowing. 

Our kids can have separate rooms from us so if the baby is asleep then the toddler isn't jumping on the bed and waking him up. 

Not have to use the shower and toilet around toys and a potty seat. 

Not having to climb over things because we're living our of 2 rooms. 2 rooms that already had stuff in it so there isn't much storage. 

Just tomorrow. Tomorrow morning is the closing. And if we get beds or I find our inflatable mattress we can stay there tomorrow night. Even if we don't we just have to wait 1 day and that's it. 

So I've made a list of things we need and need to get done with $3,500. Unfortunately I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that we're not going to be able to change the floors out or replace the tile kitchen countertops with that budget. It kind if bums me out, but it is what it is. 

Instead we'll replace the cabinet doors in the kitchen, move the fridge, build a pantry, fix the areas that flood in the yard, change the locks, buy beds, buy bedding for the 1 bed, fix the crack in the foundation, paint, and fix the lawnmower (which is about $700). 

Plus we need to buy trash cans, cleaning supplies, cabinet pulls, a modem (well I just bought this and it was $15 less thanks to amazon warehouse), I'm sure some tools and other items. 

We do need a kitchen table but I think it'll be a while for that. And a treadmill that we'll most likely get off craigslist. Or a garage sale. 

We do have money in savings for this stuff, I just want to make sure we keep some savings just in case something breaks. And we really don't need a credit card payment due to having just enough in the budget a month for everything. 

Really, we have no play room money wise. 

I know that means me getting a job, I just can't seem to ever get one. And I've basically given up. I told Big E that I'm now being picky with when I work because I want to spend time with the kids and him before I leave. 

I may try to just get a part-time cashier job overnight at walmart or something. Unless they're not hiring for those hours. But this way we won't need childcare. It's the only thing I can think to do if they're hiring. 

But for now I'm just hoping to get a break somewhere. Sometimes I regret Big E getting out of the military since he had asked me if he should or not. I pushed him to. And we gave up living comfortably while being able to stay home with my children. 

Now we'll be struggling. I thought we'd have an easier time finding employment, but that didn't happen. 

But I guess it'll be one day at a time. One day we'll be making more money hopefully. 

Those little lulls

I love the time between my morning pump and the kids waking up, which is rare because usually someone is up before I finish pumping. Today they're still both asleep so I'm laying down next to Squirt enjoying a Starbucks coffee. Big E left to go golfing with his father and brother so it's just us. 

It's just the little things that are the best. Especially when you need the break. 

No wonder I'm overwhelemed

I think I may need to complain just a little.

I'm not that overwhelmed, but I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed.

Just today from midnight on. I didn't get to pump at midnight because I was so tired that I fell asleep just before that (that's what I get for laying down).

Woke up with Squirt at around 3:30am, fed him, then pumped for 20 minutes. Of course Squirt didn't go to sleep so I was up with him.

He finally decided to go to sleep just after 5am.

But he woke up again around 5:30am because Big E's alarm went off. So that was great. Thankfully I put him in bed with us and he went right to sleep again.

Woke up again around 7:30am and got him another bottle, Big E fed him this time and I napped on and off until 8am.

Got up, drank some coffee really quick. Had to call the Dr's office back (they weren't in then but called me back later) because of some paperwork I needed done but don't now. Talked to my unit about my orders. Pumped.

Big E left for work and I dealt with Squirt being fussy for about an hour. Oh, and was able to shove some cereal down my throat (really, how am I not losing weight? Probably because I eat like crap since I don't have time to make healthy options it feels like).

Then Little E woke up. He wanted watermelon so I got him that. Then chocolate milk. All while trying to calm Squirt down and feed him.

Then Little E wanted a poptart. Not ideal for breakfast but something quick because I still had a fussing baby.

Finally got Squirt to calm down enough for me to take out the over-flowing trash, wash bottles, put a load of laundry in, and let the dog out.

Had to yell at the dog because she was on Little E's table eating the food he had on there. So then cleaned that off.

Still dealing with Squirt getting fussy again. Finally gave him gas drops and he fell asleep for maybe 15 minutes.

Got Little E's pullup finally changed, got him dressed and put on sunblock so he could go play outside for a little.

He came in after a few minutes of playing in his sandbox because it's about 95 out today. And, of course, like always, he brings in his dump truck toys that are all sandy and washes them in the bathroom sink. So I had to go in the bathroom and clean that up.

This is all before noon.

I still have to call back the movers advantage people because they called and left a message. Plus feed the turkeys (probably won't happen till later). Feed Little E lunch. Feed myself lunch. And I'm sure an entire slew of other things while Squirt gets fussy too.

This is why I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed. I feel like I'm constantly doing something and there isn't time for me. I don't even know how I'm updating here (thank you iPhone).

Plus add in the stress of us closing on our home in a couple weeks and the loan application is still with the underwriter. It's been there forever. The first time it was there it came back and they wanted a ton more paperwork, and some paperwork I had already sent in so that was annoying.

I just want to move into our home and get it done.

I think we're leaving the floors until we get a bit more money since we just spent a bunch (or going to we owe it back to my in-laws) on a new fridge (the one that's being left is really old so it's going in the garage). I definitely want the counter tops changed, which means getting the sink we want. And maybe getting the cabinet doors changed too plus adding handles,

moving the fridge into the pantry,

building a little pantry (if possible),

Taking a cabinet down that I don't want up and possibly moving it into the laundry room closet area thing,

Fixing the foundation a little (there's a crack in one corner, but it's a concrete slab so it's nothing big),

Painting the bedrooms and kitchen,

Put in a french drain (there's some spots on the land that flood),

Buy a used treadmill for our workout area,

Buy beds (we don't have any, just a crib),

Put backsplash in the kitchen,

Paint the cabinets,

Fix the lawnmower,

and replace the locks

I'm not sure how much of that is going to get done. It depends how much we can get on clearance or sale.

And now it's time to go back to a fussy baby and then pump. Then maybe I can eat lunch.