I'm leaving for Texas

Well, today is Big E's birthday! Of course we're not planning anything. I baked him homemade mac n cheese last night for dinner because that's what he requested. I tried baking a square-type sheet cake today from scratch. I may have to try again. The middle seems a little squishy (the oven here is horrible) but it seems mostly done. When I stick a toothpick in it comes out clean, but it's not spongy-like like the outsides. I guess we'll see when we go to eat it. Hopefully it just means that it needs to just sit and cool and the inside will cook the rest of the way. Otherwise I'll try again but will have to use margarine this time. And a cake that should take 30 minutes to bake takes 2 hours it seems like with Squirt crying to eat, Little E is sick, and having to pump.

I've been dying to run, but it's hard to do with 2 kids. Especially because the double jogging stroller we got doesn't hold a car seat. So I was looking around for a cheap jogging stroller (single, I plan on meeting Big E at the paved trail by his work after he's done with work and we can run together) that will accommodate a car seat and found this Instep one for $99 at walmart (cheap, we can't afford expensive right now).

Hopefully it works out. We used the gift card that Big E's grandfather sent for Squirt being born to purchase it. It'd also be nice to have a stroller that we can use everyday. The Britax bnimble we have isn't great, it's very hard to steer 1 handed.

In other words, we have a lot of strollers to sell at a garage sale when we move into our house.

Speaking of our home, we're still waiting to hear about whether we're approved for the loan or not. I'm getting very anxious about it. I just want to know this place is ours. Plus, the closing date is set for July 11th and it's getting close.

So I'm glad I went to drill this weekend. I was supposed to be in a school but ended up being dropped due to not having an updated fitness test (since I was pregnant, but that shouldn't have dropped me, it was someone not doing their job that ended up with me being dropped). But this weekend we found out we're being mobilized and are going to spend a year in Texas. Thankfully it's not a deployment to Afghanistan (have done that) or Iraq (I know they say it won't happen but I don't fully believe it right now). I'll be able to Skype every single night with Big E and the boys. Big E can focus on school and either work part-time or not work at all. We can save and fix the house how we want it. It'll be nice.

On the other hand I'm really sad about it. Yes, I should get weekends to be able to fly home and spend time about once a month at home for a couple days. But that means having to leave my kids for a year. Especially Squirt, he won't even be a year old when I leave. Especially because that means I'll need to stop pumping and give him formula. I haven't decided yet if I want to do that at 6 months, or just suck it up and start it now. I'm going to miss so much with them.

But, with job searching it's come at a good time. I can't find anything. I'm not a strong interviewer to begin with, but I don't think I'm the worst. Except I keep interviewing with these places and when I mention I'm in the reserves I get that sense that it knocks me down to not being first choice. Especially for jobs that I'm more than qualified for. But with this news I've basically just given up trying to find anything. I do need to still search, we need the money, but it's just made me give up. I excel at everything military, but I have no chance to prove that in the civilian side. I may just give up and try applying for a part-time cashier at walmart or somewhere just for the space between now and when I get mobilized.

Alright I'm being called so time to go.

Expensive or Bargain brand?

One of the things I wanted this time when I had Squirt was a brand new diaper bag. We weren't getting much of anything brand new due to this being our second child, and even then with Little E we got a lot of hand-me-downs. So when I was able to go crazy (we were making more than enough money) I decided to splurge a little on a diaper bag.

I only spent $53 on this JJ Cole diaper bag, but I loved it and anything over $25 is a splurge for me. I'm a little glad I didn't spend more than that, however. (BTW, forgive my pictures, I'm not into taking good ones lately)

I love the design on this JJ Cole diaper bag but there's only 2 zipper pouches up front

The problem with it wasn't size, but that I like to have things organized and in a place. Plus I have a toddler going through potty training and his toys/snacks to carry with us. With this bag, while nice, it didn't have many places to put things, and when I did put all the stuff I wanted in there (a drive to town is like a whole day event for us) the bag was bursting.

There are only 4 big pouches inside

And 4 pouches on the outside (as well as the 2 bottle pouches on the sides)

I wanted something different that I could organize better, looked good, and wasn't expensive. But I wasn't willing to pay for something new because I had already spent so much on this JJ Cole one.

Except yesterday I had to go to walmart for some food items and every time I'm there I always look through the clearance items in the baby section (how I'll miss this when Squirt grows up). I came upon this Babyboom diaper bag for $19.

Babyboom. Tons of pockets

It was good because not only did it have a ton of pockets in the front, but also pockets everywhere. Plus, it looks good and it's something Big E won't be really against carrying.

There are 2 big velcro pockets

Yay pockets!

Plus the main compartment has a small pocket on the side, a zippered pocket, 2 bottle holder pockets, and a wet bag (or what I call a wet bag)

Roomy inside

Plus, there was still a pocket on the back for me the throw my wallet and cell phone.

Yay more pockets!

I also like that the straps are flat so they'll stay on my shoulder better. The only thing I'm bummed about is that there's no way to hang it on the stroller. The JJ Cole bag has clips so that you can hang the bag. I may be able to rig something up though, so we'll see.

When it comes down to it with me wanting to organize things the $19 bargain was definitely worth it. Any diaper bag we've bought that's been cheaper (we also have a $25 bookbag type from walmart) has been better in my opinion. I also haven't had problems with them falling apart.

And I wish I could make a video and upload them for you when I do these reviews, but the internet is only allowed 2GB worth a day here before they shut you off for the day. One day when we move and get cable internet.

This weekend I spent time with Little E by ourselves. I feel like most of the time lately he's ignored to play/fend for himself and it makes me feel bad so I wanted to spend some alone time with him. We went and rode the go-carts and then played on the playground. I didn't get any pictures (I was too busy keeping him away from the boy that was accusing him of stealing his toy and from going down the slide that all the older kids were climbing up) but I did get one of Squirt sleeping this morning.

Enjoy the cuteness

I'm in the process of trying to clean the house today between pumping, taking care of Squirt, trying to feed Little E since that's all I have time to do inbetween, and calling people that I need to call for work. I have a feeling not much will get done.

It must be Friday the 13th

I swear, it must be the time period when children go crazy and don't want to sleep.

Squirt woke up at 2am and was wide awake until 4am, which you'd think we'd be good, right? Nope. Little E woke up at 3am and wanted to watch Cars. So we gave him the iPad to watch that and Big E and I fell asleep at 4am when Squirt did.

Yes, Little E was still awake. We weren't worried, his bedroom door is literally 3 feet from ours and he usually stays in his room because it's dark in the rest of the house.

I also didn't go to be until midnight because I have to pump. So I had 2 hours of sleep at that point.

Then Squirt woke up at 6am to eat again (he's been eating a crazy amount lately) and I had to throw out milk while I got him a bottle. It was previously frozen milk and it had been out in the fridge too long. Mostly my fault because I pre-fill bottles with the frozen (I've been rotating the ones I pumped in April out with what I'm pumping right now) and the stuff I was pumping that day I left in storage bottles in the fridge instead of freezing right away because I was being lazy. So my mother-in-law poured some of the fresh stuff in a bottle that was half full instead of just grabbing a pre-filled bottle. So the frozen didn't get used up even though I take out less than what he normally eats (which is also why I leave a couple bottles of fresh in the fridge because he needs more than I took out).

So did that and noticed Little E was still awake and playing in his room. So we had him come into our room and lay down with us in bed while he watched TV (again, we both were tired). Of course he was horribly cranky because he didn't go to sleep after 3am. Thankfully it didn't take long for him to fall asleep, and Squirt fell asleep as soon as he was done eating.

Needless to say, Big E and I didn't wake up to exercise. And Little E slept in then ate just pieces of bread and milk for breakfast. I don't know what to do with this kid as he doesn't want to really eat anything lately. Of course I want him to get some food so I just gave him bread. At least it was honey oat flavor.

I did weight myself this morning and I weighed 169.6, so I didn't lose anything from last week. I haven't been really losing at all, so I dropped my calorie intake by 100 again. I did it the first time and lost 1lb from that, but it's been a month since I did that and I'm still not losing. Of course I eat the extra for "breastfeeding" and exercising. Also, I haven't been exercising much so that's probably the problem. We did start doing T25 this week since it's a short workout, just what a sleep deprived mother/father needs.

Job hunting is horrible. I all but gave up. I've been applying to at least 1 job a day since 2 weeks ago and have only been called for 2 interviews. Part-time isn't worth it to me because we'd have to pay for daycare and I'd probably be making less than what that'll cost us. But full-time isn't happening. Although last night I applied for a full-time paint position at Lowe's. I have a feeling they'll offer me part-time, though, and I'll have to refuse it. But if I get it that'll help when we have to purchase things for the home.

It's just disheartening when I spent 4 years getting a bachelor's degree, is the reason I went in the Army because it paid for most of my school, and I can't even get a job with my degree or my experience. What was the point?

I'll start searching again in August after my 2 weeks. I may look here and there at what's open, but I'm done trying to find a job right now.

8 Weeks Postpartum

Between last month and this month I haven't lost much weight. I don't even think my body changed much at all. Which is why I decided to start up on T25 and hopefully will see a change in 4 more weeks. Especially since I'll be going to my 10 year high school reunion in August (I can't believe it's been 10 years already, I feel so old thinking of it but I don't FEEL that old).

4 weeks PP vs 8 weeks PP

Squirt goes to the doctor on the 17th for his 2 month checkup so I'll have new height and weight for him then. I have no doubt he'll be huge.

Squirt has been growing so much. He smiles, he kind of laughs, he loves bath time (he can be fussy and as soon as I put him in the tub he's happy). He has been fussy this past week, I don't know if it's a growth spurt or what but he doesn't want to sleep much during the day and just cries a lot. Today I thought it'd be like that but I placed him in his boppy on the couch so I could dress Little E and he fell right to sleep and has been sleeping for a while now.

With Squirt I'm doing some things different than I did with Little E. This time, one of them, I'm doing a bedtime routine even though he's little. I didn't do one with Little E and it's kicking us in the butt now. So around 7:30 every night both of them go in the tub, come out and get dressed, Squirt gets a bottle while Little E gets a snack and chocolate milk. Then Squirt sometimes watches cartoons in our room while Squirt snuggles. Then it's brush teeth, potty time, and a story in bed. Then lights out. It's been working great for Squirt. Little E it's been working somewhat, but he's got a tendency to get out of bed and turn his light on then climb back in bed. I'd say it's because we don't have a nightlight, but there is a nightlight in his room, plus I leave the hallway light on so it's not dark in his room. I'm not sure what to do about it so that he doesn't keep turning his light on (we go turn it off and he'll eventually turn it back on, we constantly do this).

Job searching has hit a dead end. I've been applying for everything from cafeteria cook at the school to manager positions and have got nothing. I'm avoiding the minimum wage jobs right now, but we'll see, I may have to take them. It's always reassuring to know I went to college for 4 years to get a bachelor's degree and it's not helping me at all to get a job. Neither is my military experience. So much for it all.

Little E has been doing well with potty training. Except pooping, he doesn't want to poop in the toilet for some reason and he doesn't get all the pee either, but he gets most of them.

Our home we're waiting patiently for the loan approval. We're excited to finally move next month into our own place and have been constantly looking at things we want to do in there. Even though the house doesn't need anything done to it we're just wanting to do some things to it for ourselves. But we could move in and not have to change anything.

We can't wait.

I've been lucky in life

I have to tell myself that from time to time as I have a place to live with my family (though it's not our own), we're fed, and we're healthy.

When Big E left the Army to pursue a career somewhere else in the civilian world and to move closer to family we had high hopes that everything would turn out fine and we would get all we wanted. Months later and he still hadn't had a job offer, besides going for the Game and Fish Commission. He was doing well there and a family friend that works for them had told us he was slotted for a spot.

Imagine our disappointment when he got a rejection notice (which the friend thinks someone higher up wanted their friend there and it kicked Big E out of his spot). I cried about it for a few days. Which, now that I look at it it wasn't that serious, but after getting our hopes up for this job we were dropped on our butts. Plus, I just had Squirt the week prior so I'm sure some hormones were in play.

Part of me was sad that Big E didn't get to do the job he had dreamed of doing since he was little. The selfish side of me knew this meant Big E was going to go to school and possibly take a lesser paying job. Which he finally found that lesser paying job that he started last week, and he may be going down to part-time once school starts. Knowing that upset me as I was looking forward to spending at least the first year at home with Squirt, but now I knew I would have to find a job, it added a lot of stress to me as I wasn't looking forward to dealing with that plus getting back into shape.

I had lucked out, once Little E was 6 months old I was able to be a stay at home mom to him and we had been through a lot together. I guess I was looking forward to being there for Squirt too and learning his personality. Besides, these past few weeks are making me wonder how I was working from 7 weeks to 6 months with Little E. Squirt's been very fussy until about 1-2am every single night so I've been exhausted.

But every good thing must end I suppose. So back to work I will go (if I ever get offered anything). It's been a rough market for veterans here (Big E only has his current job because his dad's friend knows the boss), even applying for a job with the VA to work in the cemetery it states that preference will go to current workers with the VA and then veterans that aren't employed currently with the VA. Yes, because God forbid the VA should actually hire veterans.

So, besides that we have had great luck.... Hopefully. We've been able to put in an offer on a home and it was accepted. It's a small home, but it'll fit our needs, and it'll be ours. I'm just praying nothing happens with the loan, especially since Big E just started at that job and all I have for income is my drill pay right now.

Our soon to be new home

If all goes well we'll be moving in the middle of July. I'm just holding my breath until then, and hoping I'm able to get a job by then so that we can have a little more money to do our long to-do list on the home or be able to have extra spending money for the family.

I just hope we're not getting in over our heads with this home.

That just shows me that the Game and Fish job wasn't meant to be. We would have been a couple hours from family and had to find a home to buy as well as having a newborn without any help. Plus, the home we're buying is a wonderful home and I'm excited to move into it.